i feel i must apologise now, before i go any further,
ive come on here to be utterly rediculous.....

you see the thing is i cant get a girl......ive gone out roaming in the bush six times this week already, all trussed up in my best fur and antelope skin, my club in my hands and my neanderthalic gait ably disguised by the homo sapien walk i learnt in finishing school,

however, time and again ive come home empty handed. not even a whiff of a woman!
(.......and mind you, in prehistoric britain, they can whiff a bit.) it must be all that pig fat and ochre they rub on their faces.....
the adverts claim it makes them look visibly younger, with softer firmer skin, and a rosy complexion.

well believe what you like........


it seems like it was only yesterday that i saw an advert for an abdominal enhancement kit on a brontasaurus as it crossed the road in front of me somewhere in the vacinity of shepherds bush.

i went out and bought it....and i hope all you lovely ladies like what ive done with my phyique. im ripped! if i may say so myself........

yeah i tore a muscle.........it turned out to be........yeah you guessed it, a bloody big rock in fancy packaging.

now where i come from, we didnt have the internet,
you see, i have recently woken up after a sleep of about 47 thousand years, and ive found myself in 2009! what a shock!

anyway, im thoroughly thawed out now, so alls well, and im looking for a lady.

someone nice to spend the long hot summer with..... ive never known a summer like it. its glorious out there no more huddling up in caves and scrabbling round for slugs and worms to eat, or anything you can lay your hands on......... yuuk!

no....here in the naughties (2-00-9) only badgers eat slugs and worms! i have to say im rather a big fan of cat food tho...

so anycow, im getting off the point here.........my point is that, you, me, all of us....... we're all out there in the bush trying to be noticed, and to meet Mr or Mrs right.

well i personally would like to meet someone soon, and add another success to the pile thats stands in testament to the fact romance isnt dead!

(and if we can prove that a troglodyte....such as myself.... and a sophisticated modern woman can make it work.......and can make little hairy children,......then theres hope for the rest of them!

so com'mon, this is your rallying cry! rally round ladies and put hope back into the hearts of the common man (and into the heart of a sub man - like me)........

(hey can i help it if im under-evolved!.......yeah dont be mean. be nice to 'ol thag x)

im sorry, im getting philosophical here, and i know im about 45 millenia before , plato and rockratees, but i would i would like to get deep into this point.....

about as deep as the crevass in the ice age ice sheet that is currently grinding its way over over snowy barbados at the rate of half an inch a year (in the time i come from), and say....

where has all the love gone??

com'mon girl, give a hug! (....theyre free!)
if not for the affection, then for the importance of shared body heat......hey its the ice age back home..... and i dont want my heart to freeze over (from loneliness and neglect)


************im hoping to meet someone who has a lively imagination (you can see i have!) and who has a good head on her shoulders.
someone who i can have faith in to be a kind and objective person. someone who gives me a fever everytime im around her, and who has a lust for life pumping through her veins, or who wants to get it started again!

i want a woman to sling over my shoulder, and carry off into the sunset.

so long and i hope we meet again!
Dan xx

p.s. can you send a pic with your reply...... or i might keel over from love sickness and die. im 6ft 1 tall, in case you were wondering how tall we stone age men are xx

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